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The Virtual Vidalia: VMware in talks to acquire family gaming software company

VMware to acquire Mavis Beacon Typing software, Foreigner to return to VMworld 2010, an IT manager receives "thank you" emails from Veeam for a purchase he has no recollection of and more.

All the news that's fit to spin!

VMware to Acquire Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing
Veemwa Relire, Staff Reporter
      VMware, Inc. (VMW) is poised to make a move into the family gaming software market according to The Wall Street Journal's All Things Digital. Sources said the deal was estimated at $350 million and would be announced soon.
      The WSJ reported that server virtualization pioneer VMware is in talks with Broderbund to acquire titles from its software catalog, including the "Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing" typing instruction application suite.
      "After all, how can our customers use our virtualization software if they don't know how to type?" said VMware CEO Paul Maritz.
     A Broderbund deal would mark VMware's continued expansion up the stack, away from its core competency of x86 chipset virtualization, and was widely viewed as a way to build out its cloud computing strategy. Earlier steps in this direction include last summer's acquisition of Java framework maker SpringSource and an ongoing bid for Zimbra, a provider of open source email collaboration software.      "By offering Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing as a vApp, VMware can lower the barrier to entry for cloud providers that want to compete in the market for online, on-demand typing tutorial software," said Shlomo Pincus, an analyst with the Wall Street investment bank Stear Bearns.
      The deal has many detractors, who see Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing as a far cry from VMware's roots, and irrelevant to Fortune 1000 customers, who are by and large, pretty good typists.
      VMware and Broderbund declined to comment on the rumors. Sources also said that the company is also trying to buy the rights to The Oregon Trail

from its most recent owner. VMware Books Foreigner for Second VMworld Stint
Foreina Foreva, Contributor
      Following the rollicking VMworld 2009 party, VMware officials announced that they had booked the popular 80's band Foreigner to play the upcoming VMworld 2010 show in San Francisco for a second time.      "We were bowled over the by positive feedback from the VMworld 2009 party, and decided, why mess with success?" a VMware spokesperson said.
     Like last year, the dynamic hair band will appear at the Moscone Center fresh off a gig at the Western Idaho Fair in Boise.
      "Seeing Foreigner at VMworld was almost as much fun as BC3384, 'Using IP-based replication as an Enabler for Server Virtualization and Storage Repurposing,'" said Eric Siebert, a system administrator at roast chicken purveyor Boston Market. "Getting to see them two times in two years will be beyond awesome!"
      But not all attendees reacted so positively to the news.
      "I was really hoping they could get someone, I dunno, a bit edgier, like maybe Burt Bacharach," said Jim Bacharach of Kansas City, Miss., a senior systems engineer and distant Bacharach relation.
      "Oh well, everyone knows you don't go to VMworld for the music," he winked.

     In other VMworld news, the company is reportedly in discussion with Swedish pop sensation ABBA

to cross the channel to neighboring Denmark, where they will rock the VMworld Europe party at Copenhagen's Bella Center. Vodka Seals Deal for Veeam Backup
Nevaag Ain, Contributor
     An Akron-area IT manager stumbled in to work at 11:00 a.m. this morning to emails from his Veeam sales executive thanking him for buying Veeam Backup, but has no recollection of ever signing off on the purchase.
     "All I remember is meeting the Veeam guys at the local bar for one drink, and this intense heavy-set Russian guy who claimed to be the CEO bringing me over a vodka shot. I can usually hold my liquor, but the rest is sort of a blur," said the anonymous IT manager.
     "S**t, this is really bad. I had been planning to buy Vizioncore vRanger Pro."

VMware Admin Refuses to Become TechTarget Member
Noma Spampleeze, Staff Writer
      An Akron company's ESX server farm will remain hopelessly f&^%'ed up due to a simple configuration error, even though the solution to the problem is readily available for free, on an excellent, free article that sits behind a SearchVMware.com registration wall.
     "I'll run my production Oracle 11g database on Microsoft Virtual Server before I sign up to be a TechTarget member again," said Bob Bronchulis, the IT manager responsible for the company's VMware farm.

     "I gave them all my information about my environment, my purchasing plans for the next seven years, even my marital status and what I had for breakfast! What did I get in return? Email… A lot of email! Never again TechTarget!" Virtual Voices
Man-On-The-Street Five Second Interviews

      Q: VMware continually adds to its family of tools for virtualization. Is there one you think they need to add immediately?

"Not sure what VMware is, but I used to live near a family of tools."
Daniel Whitehead, 25, a sixth year undergrad student in Boston, Massachusetts

 "To hell with all this VMware fooey. Put everything back on Big Iron!"
James Daft, 78, retired mainframe administrator in Houston, TX

"VMware needs to invent a tool that completely abstracts EMC's CEO Joe Tucci from their board of directors and lets you VMotion him off the face of the earth." Diane Greene, age, occupation and location undisclosed

Older, smellier Virtual Vidalia columns:
> Holland leads world in vExperts, VMware hopes to virtualize PS3


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